Every year, I look forward to the holiday season (as most of us do), and yet, for many years, I found myself stressed to the point of tears in the middle of it.

Creating MAGIC for our whole families takes a LOT. But who is creating magic for us? Between the decorating and the planning and the cooking and the cleaning, the shopping, wrapping, elf shelving, and more cooking, we barely have time to stay consistent with our bare minimum self-care needs, let alone actually experiencing the magic for ourselves.⁠
⁠
I say F that. We deserve to experience the magic of the season just as much as our kids (maybe even more??). We deserve the REST; the gifts that we actually WANT (no👏more👏robes!👏… seriously tho, did that SNL skit hit a little close to home for anyone?); curling up on the couch with a hot bevvie and a favorite holiday movie (and NOT just as a reward for getting all the wrapping done); time to ourselves; or whatever it is that brings US joy over the holidays.⁠
⁠
But that’s not going to miraculously happen out of nowhere. Many of us (🙋‍♀️) grew up with a mother who endlessly self-sacrificed in service of her family; who slaved away cooking and cleaning and shopping and literally doing EVERYTHING for EVERYONE all the time (but especially this time of year). Many of us have partners who grew up with that same model of what a mother/wife should do as well. ⁠

To undo this outdated and demoralizing paradigm, we first have to recognize the expectations we have of ourselves, and the expectations our families have of us. And then we have to SPEAK UP.⁠

This year, what if you tried delegating, asking for what you need (AND for what you want!), letting go of the need for perfection, taking some shortcuts, focusing on EASE and JOY and MAGIC for yourself as well as for everyone else. Divide the labor and responsibilities of the season equitably. ⁠
⁠
In our house, we divide and conquer. I shop for gifts and my husband wraps them.  We have our kids pick out gifts for each other (and us!) and create an atmosphere of giving. I do most of the cooking and he does most of the cleaning (and when we’re over it, we order in).  We take the trips and go to the events that will bring us the most JOY and we say no to the rest.

So what can YOU do differently this year? How can you reclaim some holiday magic for yourself and stand up for what you want and need? Share your plan in the comments!