by: Nkechi Njaka, Msc.
What do you think– Is showing emotion a sign of weakness? Or strength?
How about when s/he doesn’t call? It means things are done. Over. Or s/he is simply busy?
You get constructive feedback at work. Your job is in jeopardy and your manager hates you? They want you to succeed and grow in your position?
You see where I am going. And I could go on. Our reactions to things like missing the bus, or a long line at Starbucks can easily ruin our day if we let it….That’s just it. If we let it. And let’s be honest, sometimes we do.
We let things mean things as though we have no control over our thoughts. Well, we do have control because it is a choice. Meaning is not found merely in people, places or things; meaning is what we choose to make things mean.
Therefore, everything is meaningless.
Yes, that is what I said. Nothing means anything, essentially. Sit with that. And don’t freak out. Because any and everything can mean what we choose to make it mean. Feel empowered.
Our ego is an interpreter. One that first judges to make things right or wrong, good or bad. Evaluating, assessing, determining– creating little space for possibility and opportunity. This is especially true in a time of crisis. Fear, worry, anxiety, judgement and panic can prevent our minds so much that it is virtually impossible to think of what might serve us the most!
This became clear to me the other day. I was talking to my best friend on the phone and I was going over a date that I had the week before, and what I thought it meant for me and my future. Even as I type that, it is clear that I chose to make conclusions about one event to mean something about another, when I could simply just chose to make it mean something else. This is why she is my best friend.
She reminded me that what is important is that I continue to be excited about the things in my life that are so amazing and exciting (and there are SO many!). And that this one thing, in the grand scheme of things, doesn’t mean what I told myself it meant. I need these reminders sometimes. Especially today, because I had an incredibly hard time shifting my perspective. ‘An incredibly hard time’ until I just made the choice to do so.
So how can we shift 180 degrees? On demand? There are 3 things that we can be in practice of to have this happen more readily. First is to ask ourselves this: What if wrong is right and bad is good and this obstacle is actually a gift?
If that question doesn’t open things up for you, then make these declarations:
- This could me anything I want it to mean.
- I can chose to suspend my judgement and not attach any meaning to this.
- How I feel about this is not rooted in fact or can determine my future in any way.
Then identify one thing that you are truly grateful for!
