About 6 years ago, after many failed attempts, I decided I was finally going to learn to meditate. I had tried so many times before, with no success (or so I thought). I was convinced that I just wasn’t the type of person that could meditate. But being a generally anxious person, prone to a heightened stress response, I knew I had to give it another go. So I signed up for a free online 28 day meditation series led by two people I loved (from a distance, at least): Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey. Not too shabby a combo, right?
After much a frustrating first two weeks, which felt like me “meditating” meant sitting there trying not to think about all the shit on my mind, but then thinking about it anyway, and realizing that I just spent 10 minutes thinking about my to-do list…. le sigh. But suddenly, a little over two weeks in, I realized that I had turned a corner. I was able focus on my breath and the mantra for longer, bring myself back from distractions faster, and finally reap the benefits of meditation.
Though I’ve done several Meditation Challenges since then, and meditated on my own sporadically, I have not had a solid one month streak in many years, certainly not since becoming a mama. So with the mounting stressors over the last few months of being a work-from-home mom with a strong-willed, precocious toddler, starting an intensive year-long Ayurvedic practitioner program, and starting a new business with my husband (more on that later), I was starting to feel my meditation practice calling to me again.
My neck and shoulders were perpetually tight, I was feeling bouts of anxiety, my patience with my kid and husband was dwindling, and I felt like I was developing much more of a temper than I would like. Something had to change.